NCCA Staff Deacon Eddie

"And I will turn my hand upon thee, and purely purge away thy dross" (Isaiah 1:25 KJV)

One of my earliest memories is early on a Sunday morning listening to an old vinyl record of Sister Willie Johnson singing and watching Grandma worship the Lord when she made breakfast. The smell of bacon, biscuits, gravy and fried apples to this day reminds me of that old spiritual song Grandma had on the record player:

" Since I met Jesus,

There's been a burning, Oh such a burning

Down deep within.

It holds me with an unseen power,

and keeps me free from sin.

Cleanses me, from day to day,

As I walk along this narrow way.

Since I met Jesus,

Since He changed this heart of mine

Makes me want to run on, Singin', "Hallelujah!"

Right to the end!

His yoke is easy, and His burdens are light.

If I walk where He leads me, I'll always be right.

And if I cherish this race, that I'm runnin', runnin' by faith,

by His grace I'll make it home someday! "

It was a miracle that a biscuit would rise in a pan because that old kitchen floor would shake and jump as Grandma worshiped the Lord with all her might. I would sit and watch in wide eyed wonder as the spirit of God moved on her. We had church before going to church.

On Sunday night I would be hiding under the front pew with my cousins, and watch as my Aunt and Grandma danced in the spirit and praised the Lord. Bobby-pins would fly, small couch pillows and orange juice cans would launch across the front of the church, whatever those women could find to put in their hair as foundations to get that beehive high in the air. We all should have had lung damage from the cans of aqua-net hair spray they used to glue it all together. Regardless, people would be filled with the Holy Ghost, healed and delivered on Sunday nights at the First Apostolic Pentecostal Church.

Grandma had received the baptism of the Holy Ghost in the 1940's. An evangelist named Sister Willie Johnson was preaching and Grandma would sometimes testify about it at church. I can still hear her now during testimony service, "I was watching everyone singing and praising the Lord when I just had to lift my hands. It felt like I floated up to the front of the church and right then and there God filled me with His spirit."

The pastor of the church resigned and the new pastor was preaching a revival. I was baptized on Sunday, (and almost froze!) coming out of the icy water with teeth chattering, many people thought I received the Holy Ghost that night. Monday night was "off night" so the next service was Tuesday night, March 13, 1973. Service started, the church began worshiping and ushering in the spirit of the Lord. Just a few minutes into the service I was filled with the baptism of the Holy Spirit, talking in tongues half the night and still groggy with it the next day.

My pastor taught that homosexual folk were "front of the line going to hell" and he said that he would rather a man be an axe murderer than homosexual. Well…I had a crush on his son. I still felt the electric power of the Holy Spirit moving in my soul. I was attracted to guys. Girls just weren't for me. I dated them, because I that is what I was supposed to do, (remember the bible says obedience is better than sacrifice) and continued to do my best to live for the Lord.

Fasting didn't change it, praying hadn't made a single dent in it, pleading to God to change me didn't make one bit of difference. It was the same as if I had asked God to make my eyes blue. He didn't want me to have blue eyes. He didn't want me to be heterosexual. Before He formed me in my Mother's womb He knew me. He set me apart before I was born and being gay was how He wanted me to be.

I wrestled with it in my soul. I was filled with the Spirit of God and that Spirit would move in me even though I knew in my heart, soul and mind that I was homosexual. Man would say I was wrong and God would move in my soul and say I was perfect in His sight. I let man win… I made the choice to be straight.

I moved to Texas after graduating high school and was the minister of music there. I pushed and shoved my sexuality to the farthest corner of my being and lived as I had been taught, (for obedience is better than sacrifice!). I met the daughter of one of the assistant pastor's and was married. Apostle Paul wrote that it is better to marry than to burn. I found out that you can be married and burn anyhow! We had a baby girl on my birthday in 1983 and I love her so much.

We went to church and continued with the music ministry. After several years of being married, we divorced. I could not understand how God let that happen after all of my being obedient! My life fell to pieces but I held on to what I had been taught with an iron fist.

I remarried! This time we had four boys (love them!) but the end result was the same. When this marriage ended in divorce, I knew it was time to come out and be who I was and stop the lies.

God was guiding me through the process that looked to me like a huge train wreck. I didn't fit in the world and I felt as though I didn't fit in the church. I moved to Long Beach, CA and started life over there. I continued to search for a church even though I was out doing things I had no business doing.

There was a coffee house on the pier in Long Beach that I loved to go to on Sunday Mornings, drink coffee and read. One morning I was searching through the books and found "A Stranger at the Gate" by Mel White. This book changed my life! I read where it was possible to be gay and be a child of God.

Years passed, another broken relationship (this one was closer to right, though…it was a guy!) brought me to South Georgia to live on a secluded farm. Once again, my life was in shambles and once again I couldn't understand why everything was so upside down. God was turning my life towards Him.

On a visit to the "big city", I invited Eric to come eat with my friend and me and the first time I saw him I knew that this was it! We dated, called, visited until I decided to move up to Atlanta.

A few months later, another friend invited me to New Covenant Church of Atlanta with the warning that "the services are a bit different." I didn't know what to think, but was prepared for just about anything! How refreshing to find a church where the spirit of God moves and you can be yourself…gay, bi, straight, lesbian, transgender…it doesn't matter, God loves us!

Eric and I were married by Pastor Joan Castle August 23, 2008. He is the sweetest, most supportive, loving man and I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

I was ordained deacon at New Covenant Church of Atlanta in April 2009. I enjoy being a part of the Levites worship team, I lead the Visitation Ministry, First Day, the Photography/Video Ministry and the Website Ministry.

I have found the way! I will not let a day pass without praising God for bringing me to New Covenant Church of Atlanta. He has restored so much joy and power into my life and has helped me to understand that He loves me, as He loves you, just as we are.